At first I was afraid; I was petrified. But no joke, I was intimidated.
A friend told me to join her for a Power Vinyasa class in a heated studio. It ended up being 75 minutes of pure, life-changing sweat.
And no, it did not go smoothly. I slipped, cursed, and frustrated myself beyond all measure. The teacher kept repeating these phrases on trusting my own body, and being only on my own mat. But of course I wasn’t paying attention! Warrior II was freaking hard. Plus I was super worried she would tell us to go into a headstand!
She didn’t, and my intimidation lessened. Still, by the end of that class I was mentally and physically exhausted.
The next week I went again, but by myself and the more I went, the more I learned about my mind.
I was extremely anxiety-ridden, and not handling it healthily.
My self-talk was constantly negative and I was letting comparison rule my life.
I believed the thought that I was unworthy of being sincerely happy.
Bottom line: it was a pretty dark place.
That was in 2015.
As the years went by I focused on listening to my body.
I couldn’t numb myself with Yoga. The only way I could effectively breathe through each pose was to acknowledge and admit the discomfort I was feeling about myself.
Each practice brought frustration: I cried through some & felt the strongest with others.
Yoga became my therapy. It was a haven where I had the opportunity to come back into a calm, rational, and true-to-myself mindset.
In 2018 I decided I wanted to teach. I left those four YTT months realizing I went through the most intense therapy session of my life. I left inspired to spread self-love and trust, because I realize that is what I needed the most.
I guess to some people, it sounds like a load of crock. How does breathing translate into working through your issues? But as a 28-year-old working in a world that is revolved around capturing people at their highest and happy moments, it was hard to see where my happiness fit. Yoga helped me bring my life back to myself.
For those who are too intimidated to experience a journey of self discovery, I urge you to try Yoga.
There are no age-requirements, or physical assessments.
You only need an open mind.
You aren’t better if you do it in a hot studio than at home.
You aren’t a failure if you can’t do a headstand.
Yoga is what you put into it.
You receive what you accept.
It more than just poses. It’s taking space and control of your mind. It’s empowering and filled with strength.
If you need a buddy, just ask! I’m always happy to place my mat next to beautiful soul like yours! // xo